


And so Mark learned nothing

by Bussy



Category: DuckTales (Cartoon 2017)
Genre: Bad Jokes, Crack, Humor, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-11 19:04:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19933003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bussy/pseuds/Bussy
Summary: Mark Beaks gets a callout post online and still learns nothing from all his internet hate.





	And so Mark learned nothing

**Author's Note:**

> Important: Cassidy is a brown duck like Fenton, but she has white hair and she is a bimbo. That is very important! If you draw fanart of her please let me know :) interpret her however you like. 
> 
> I love Ducktales!!! (Not sarcasm. I genuinely love this show!) 
> 
> Enjoy. 
> 
> (Mark Beaks voice) this ones for you fujoshi!

Mark Beaks sitting at his desk on his phone like a boss when he turns to his secretary that he hired and often fired. 

"Casandra?" 

"It is...actually Cassidy." 

Mark looked fucking pissed for be corrected. "Aren't those the same names???" He asks. Trying not to be pissed that like his secretary corrected him. "Anyway, Kissidy," Mark continues his epic rant. "Cassidy" 

"Ok whatever quesadilla." 

Mark kept ranting "so like anyway!!! I think to garner more attention on my Twitter account and Instagram I'm going to do a stunt" 

Oh god. Not again his secretary thinks. 

"So like my stunt. You know in anime...." 

Oh no.  
Oh no.  
Oh no. 

"So like in anime. Girls and whatever like boys" mark starts furiously playing with fidget spinner. "Heh fucking epic"

"Where....where is this going Mr. Beaks?" Cassidy worriedly asks.

"The fujoshis" 

"The what sir" 

"The fujoshi are going to love this" 

Cassidy just blinked and tapped at her desk with her big long acrylic nails. She was a duck that looked just like Fenton in color but she had huge tits and Mark often called her bimbo duck. 

"What are you doing" Cassidy asked as she watched her boss call in a big beefy bodyguard. He looked ripped as hell. 

Mark took out his phone and said "ok Cassandra record this" 

"Cassidy" 

"Ok bad boy cascada" 

Secretary sighed and is handed the phone as her boss began to sloppily makeout with the beefy bodyguard. "#yaoi #beefy #bear #bara #fujoshi" he said all the words out loud and posted it. "The fujoshi are going to love this and buy my merch" 

"How did you say those words out loud Mr. Beaks?" Cassidy asked in astonishment. "😛😛😳 Mark Beaks don't play #gay" he said and slammed his phone on the desk and told the bodyguard beef man to go away now. 

"How many likes did I get?" Mark said checking his phone furiously and refreshing. "500! And going!" 

"Boss. I think you've upset a lot of people. They look like hate comments" 

"What? Oh fuck the haters. Don't they know I can't see them?" Mark flexed his no muscles because he is no longer mega beaks. "You should apologize" 

"Omg apologizing sucks so hard. Ugh" 

"But your callout post sir" 

"My what" 

Cassidy showed him his full length callout post on the app that said reasons why to unstan him. "Unstan?" 

"That means they hate you sir" 

"Ugh! What the fuuuck. I do everything for these people? I'm not even homophobic what the fuck. I literally have a crush on Fenton. This is bullshit" 

Cassidy just signed. "Maybe you should address this" 

"Omg yes I should totally make an apology. Haha apologetic BEAKS in the house! They are going to eat that up" 

No wonder Graves wouldn't take this job anymore. 

Mark got out his camera and began fake sobbing "stop it haters,,, this is literally homophobic to hate me? I promise this will never happen again. I am a changed man," he says crying on the video. "Please re-Stan" and he posts it. Mark then began to crytype on his social media "being bullied sucks so hard fuck...."

"Sir I don't think that is helping your case." 

"Omg okay what do I do then" 

"You need to genuinely apologize" 

"Haha nah fam I'll just lay low until the flame war stops! Lol. Then hit em again up with I'm sorry!" 

Cassidy just frowned. 

(A week passes) 

"Omg this suckkks. They are still mad! Like get over it." 

"Maybe you should try another apology video ?" 

"Omg I don't get it. I apologized!! Already!ugh. Okay fine!" He gets out his phone and says he is sorry again and that doesn't work so he says "Dear internet, 

I'm so sorry I upset you. I didn't mean to. It was really just a joke. I thought you could take a joke but I guess I was wrong. I've been teased before about my hot ass. But I never felt the need to make a callout post. I don't understand why you all are so upset. Maybe you are just overreacting? I don't understand, I thought we were friends. 

Matter of fact. 

Fuck you, why am I even apologizing." 

Fucking aced it. He puts on his headphones and starts jamming out. 

Cassidy just sighs. 

This cannot end well. 

"Oh hey! My social media is blowing up!" 

Oh no. 

"Oh well. Bad publicity is still publicity! Thanks Secretary!" 

"Cassidy!" 

"Ok quesadilla" 

Cassidy hates her fucking job. 

"Thanks gonna go hang out in my fave spots now" 

Mark left. 

"I really hope someone decks his ass for being like this" she goes back to typing at her desk.

**Author's Note:**

> Cassidy may return someday. But probably not. 
> 
> You look me in the eye and tell me Mark Beaks doesn't have a callout post?
> 
> Note: it is important that I give Arthur and the meme credit for Mark's apology letter! As a cited notation.


End file.
